Focus On Relationships: Communication

A lack of communication is very common in modern relationships, regardless of whether the people in question are feminists, liberals, fascists, or any number of other things. While there have been countless pieces written on why communication is important in relationships, I think there is another case to be made for those of us who hold a more traditional worldview. Here, men are often encouraged to be strong and never complain while women are expected to be yielding and never argue. While keeping the peace is important, it is equally important to realize that there is a time to speak out.

Our movement glorifies masculinity and stoicism, and for good reason. However, the face men present to the outside world can not always be up, and who they are when they are with their significant others is allowed to be a touch more sensitive. There are few women who would fault a man for letting them know how they really feel about something. Romantic relationships are a partnership, and without input from both it is unlikely to work out, especially when one party bottles up their feelings until they can’t take it a moment longer.

On the opposite side of that same coin, women are expected to be submissive while being argumentative is considered a major flaw. This is good, but it can be taken too far. I remember a friend of mine who was once in a relationship with another man in our movement. Together, they sought to be as traditional as they could be, but the man exploited this to his advantage. If at any time the woman would say that something upset her or made her uncomfortable, the man would criticize her for not submitting to his will and desires, even when it was clear that this was not in the best interest of the couple. Needless to say, the relationship did not last but it is an important cautionary tale. Being able to communicate with your partner about what you need, want, like, and dislike is an integral part of forming a lasting relationship and there is no shame in stating that something is not to your liking so long as it is approached in a reasonable way that shows respect for both parties involved.

The modern media glorifies difficult and nigh unlovable women. This is clearly a ploy aimed at destroying healthy relationships. However, in fighting against that we should be very careful not to take it too far in the other direction. The culture of the west is not a parallel of Islam- women are allowed a voice and a say, and we are not slaves to our partners. We are partners. While the individutals has a different role, the input of each is equally important when forming a lasting and loving relationship.

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